Jose Mourinho: Manchester United exit speculation 'garbage

 MANCHESTER -- Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho has dismissed speculation he could quit Old Trafford in the summer as "garbage news."

Reports this week claimed the Portuguese coach could resign at the end of the season after falling behind Manchester City in the Premier League title race and becoming frustrated at a lack of investment in the playing squad.

However, Mourinho has rubbished the speculation and claimed he will stay at the club as long as the board and owners want him.

He told a news conference on Thursday: "Look, it depends on what you want to know and what you want to speak about.

"If you want to speak about some news, I say garbage. I don't find a better word to define the talk.

"If you want to ask me directly, which I suppose you want, if I see myself next season in Manchester United, I say I see myself [here]. And, as I told when I arrived, I'm going to leave when the club wants me to leave, because I have no intention to leave at all.

"My intention is to stay, and to work and to improve and to bring the club to where the club belongs and I want to stay. And I don't see any reason not to stay."

Mourinho signed a three-year contract with the option of an additional season when he took over from Louis van Gaal in 2016.

Sources told ESPN FC in October that the 54-year-old has held talks about a new deal, and Mourinho revealed that he would like to remain at Old Trafford beyond his current contract.

Speaking ahead of Derby County's visit in the FA Cup third round on Friday night, he added: "I still have a contract, in fact I am in the middle of my contract, I am not in the last couple of months, and my desire is to stay until the owners and the board is happy with my work.

"Yes, I see myself here [after three years]. I repeat, it is just a question of the club, the board, the owners, Mr Woodward, they all want, they all are happy with my contribution and they want me to stay beyond the end of this contract."

PERU Opens Wangari Maathai Park

Four years after the death of Nobel Peace Prize winner Professor Wangari Maathai, she has been honored with the opening of a park named after her in Lima, Peru. The late Wangari’s passion for tree conservation was remarkable until when she met her demise in 2011.  Here are photos from the launch of the Wangari Maathai Park in Peru that was attended by close to five Kenyan & East African government representatives.  We can just hope that Kenya will give her similar recognition. -

Four years after the death of Nobel Peace Prize winner Professor Wangari Maathai, she has been honored with the opening of a park named after her in Lima, Peru. The late Wangari’s passion for tree conservation was remarkable until when she met her demise in 2011.
Here are photos from the launch of the Wangari Maathai Park in Peru that was attended by close to five Kenyan & East African government representatives.
We can just hope that Kenya will give her similar recognition.
- See more at: http://nairobiwire.com/2015/01/wangari-maathai-park-opened-in-peru-photos.html#sthash.XcKlIOm3.dpuf

40 Most Hilarious Quotes By Robert Mugabe

Apart from being one of the longest-serving African heads of states, President Robert Mugabe is known for his witty and sometimes foolish quotes. Here’s a compilation of some of the hilarious quotes from the Zimbabwean President:


1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.

2. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend didn’t wish you a happy Mother’s Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.

3. He who swallows a complete coconut has absolute trust in his anus.

4. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it’s raining, because you are not an umbrella.

5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.

6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don’t need to call those things “your breasts”. It’s called COW BELL, OUR MILK! Repeat after me, OUR MILK!

7. It’s hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.

8. All I hear always is, ‘No sex before marriage?’ If that was God’s plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.

9. The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.

10. Men sucking lady’s breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of lady’s sucking men’s d*ck is what baffles me. Where did they learn it from?

11. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a ‘girlfriend’.

12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don’t take a goat as a friend.

13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and are still single, you are not different from a canopy.

14. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.

15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.

16. Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had sex.

17. Some of the girls of today can’t even jog for five minutes but they expect a guy to last in bed with you for two hours? Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade.

18. I stopped trusting ladies when my class three girlfriend left me for another boy all because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.

19. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a “broke” man who’s extremely good in bed.

20. Witchcraft is when a 24-year-old girl who cannot jog for five minutes expects a 40-year-old man to last for one hour in bed.

21. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever, because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.

22. Women with beauty and no brains, it is your private parts that will suffer the most.

23. When one’s goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbour’s soup gets suspicious.

24. It’s better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she didn’t drill.

25. Even Satan wasn’t gay; he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam. Say no to same-sex marriage.

26. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to schoolgirls, just buy your wife a school uniform.

27. It is every man’s dream to remove a woman’s pant one day but NOT when it’s on a drying line.

28. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newlywed wife but lately, there’s nothing as such any longer because it’ll have already been given out as a Birthday gift, token of Appreciation, Job assurance, Church collection, Examination marking schemes and for Lorry fares!”

29. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.

30. We are living in a generation where people “in love” are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they’re “private”.

31. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.

32. If President Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country (Zimbabwe), he must come here so that I marry him first.

33. South Africans will kick down a statue of a dead white man but won’t even attempt to slap a live one. Yet they can stone to death a black man simply because he’s a foreigner.

34. What is the problem? We now have aeroplanes which can take them back quicker than the ships used by their ancestors.

35. Mr Bush, Mr Blair and now Mr Brown’s sense of human rights precludes our people’s right to their God-given resources, which in their view must be controlled by their kith and kin. I am termed dictator because I have rejected this supremacist view and frustrated the neocolonialists.

36. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.

37. A brave man is he who has a running stomach and still wants to flatulate.

38. Journalist: Sir, don’t you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a President?
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the Queen this question or is it just for African leaders?

39. Interviewer: Mr President, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Robert: Where are they going?

40. My dear ladies, please don’t buy a selfie stick when your armpit itself needs a shaving stick.

10 Reasons He Never Called After the First Date

1. You didn’t put the phone down.
This is the big one, girls: Obsessively checking your phone every minute isn’t the way to get a guy to like you. There’s nothing ruder than trying to have a conversation with a person who’s constantly stating at their screens—wouldn’t you be put off if he were paying more attention to his iPhone than to you?
Checking Instagram can wait. No, it can’t? Then you’re probably not ready to have a relationship with an actual human just yet. Similarly, don’t post status updates, tweet about your date in real time, or snap any candid pics when he’s not looking. That’s just creepy.

2. You didn’t eat.
Most guys will freely tell you that there’s nothing more cliché (read: boring) than a girl who doesn’t eat on a date. If you think not ordering dinner will make you appear skinnier, prettier, sexier, more feminine, or more mysterious, guess what? It won’t. What it will do? Probably make the dude a little uncomfortable, especially if he takes you to a restaurant. Plus, if you’re weird about eating, he might think you’re weird about other pleasurable things

3. You got hammered.
Having to be carried home by a guy you barely know isn’t chic (nor is slurring your words, taking your top off, or crying at the dinner table.) Sure, a few cocktails can be fun and loosen the mood, but overdoing it probably won’t get the guy—unless the guy is Charlie Sheen.

4. You revealed too much.
Feeling comfortable with your date is fabulous, but feeling so comfortable that you overshare could cause him to run in the other direction. After all, does anyone really need to know personal details about your life after knowing you for 45 minutes? Want to be married with a baby by the age of 30? Keep it to yourself for now.
Similarly, steer clear of personal topics like your parents’ messy divorce, your chronic stomachaches, your massive fight with your best friend, or the fact that you’re only meeting losers on dating sites.

5. You asked him the wrong questions.
On a first date (or anytime you’re with another human, really) it’s a good bet that asking questions will always ensure flowing conversation. However, if you start grilling him on politics, religion, his exes, and how much cash he pulls in, it’s pretty much a given that you’ll scare him off. You’re not interviewing him, you’re getting to know him, so keep your queries general. Ask about work, his family, his hobbies, pop culture, or his favorite music.

6. You social-stalked him.
Did you friend him on Facebook, follow him on Twitter, and start liking and commenting on every one of his Instagram photos the second you left the date?  In the digital world we live in, that could be the equivalent of too much too soon, and could freak a guy out. Instead, wait until you’ve had a handful of solid dates before keeping up with him on social media.

7. You killed him with compliments.
Replace gushy comments like “you’re so hot,” “you seem like the perfect guy,” “you’re so out of my league,” “you’re so much more successful than me,” “you’re perfect,” and “you have an amazing body” with “I like your shirt.” Trust us on this one.

8. You didn’t at least offer to pay for anything.
Sitting back all night and not offering to pay or split the bill could translate to entitled—not a good way to get a guy to like you. A tactful way to do this is to simply reach for the check when it comes. If he insists, offer to split the bill, or at least leave the tip. He’ll probably decline, so make sure you offer to get the cab to the next destination, the movie tickets, or a round of drinks.
Keep this in mind though: If you offer to pay or split, be prepared to actually pay or split. Nothing is more awkward than him saying “sure, you can get the cab” and you saying “Actually, I didn’t bring my wallet.” 


9. You text him right after the date.
Obviously texting is a viable means of communication these days, but there are a few unspoken rules we all need to follow. If you had a good time and feel like shooting him a casual text the next day that says “had a great time, thanks again!” go for it.
However, if you start texting him things like “OMG so I know I only left you a few minutes ago, but I had the best time EVR, ur sooooo amaze and I can’t wait to see u again. Wanna do brunch with me and my BFFs tomorrow??! LMK ASAP xoxox!!!” don’t expect a second date.

10. You were boring.
This sounds harsh, because we know you’re not boring, but if he asked you lots of questions, and you gave one-word answers, or seemed generally disinterested, you’re not getting a phone call. After all, would you want to hang out with a guy who didn’t seem like he wanted to be there?

5 Things Husbands Never tell their Wives

…now that I’ve gotten your attention, I’m first going to go into the whole positive spiel about how happily married couples share everything including the toothbrush (eew!) and how they keep absolutely nothing from each other (in case you missed it, I just said the positive bit!). The negative bit I’m about to unleash (Armageddon style) is not for the faint-hearted wives or judgmental/paranoid wives-to-be. If you fall into either category then please close this article now and wait for another publication, otherwise please read on…

Men have secrets, some more than others. When they get married they may choose to share some secrets but where do they draw the line without triggering a marriage meltdown? A husband may want to ‘put a sock in it’ if they woke up one morning and decided to narrate an erotic dream that didn’t involve their wife (even if the woman involved was some impossible-to-get celebrity). That’s just asking for a whole lot of trouble. How about that special female friend whom he’s been in touch with before and after marriage? I don’t think a married man will see sense in disclosing that kind of info, unless of course his wife wasn’t the jealous type (that’s like saying there are dogs that aren’t the barking type!).

On a scarier note, a considerate husband would not disclose any possible regrets for marrying his wife…at least not to the wife. It’s a tough pill to swallow but marriage proposals founded on pity, unplanned pregnancy or financial gain may soon begin to see Frustration rear its ugly head. Next thing you know, the truth is out there like the X-files! Sadly some women just can’t handle the truth; which brings me to the fourth thing husbands won’t tell their wives – how their wives REALLY look. I’m not talking about the diplomatic ‘You like fine, dear’. I mean If she’s having a real ‘off’ day e.g. she’s a little heavy and she’s concerned about her weight, she’s got extremely sensitive skin and she’s concerned about her spots, or perhaps she’s got a freakishly futuristic hairdo she loves but you have a big question mark about, etc.

But it’s not all about the wife, what she looks like or what private relationships or dreams she’s unaware of – there’s also other ‘assets’ to worry about. I heard about joint bank accounts for couples where either can sign to make withdrawals but let’s face it; how many husbands would tell their wives about that private account where their (back-up) funds are kept safe from frivolous spending, possible divorce settlements, etc? You only know what you know, you know

MTWAPA THE FUN TASTIC CITY

It's on a Friday and at around 11.00pm as I walk in the streets of Mombasa in a Metropolitan Town going by the name Mtwapa, I decide to pop in a club *F******N* to see what many people have been telling me about ladies dancing naked (Stripping). Unfortunately I find no stripper I ask a guy next to my table about them and he directs me to two nearby clubs *L******P* & *B******F*. I sip my drink very fast and phew! off with my cameras to the above two mentioned clubs. On my way i hear a woman's voice ''Anko.........Anko..........Anko....Kidogo'' i turn my head only to realize am the one being called, two ladies all rushing to where am standing and one starts ''

Lady one---> Mambo
ME---> Poa
Lady one---> Naona uko lonely
Lady two---> Naitwa Nancy Sijui wewe?
ME---> Naitwa Mike
Lady One---> Aaaaaw Mike, a sexy name

I decide to hit the nail on the head "Mwasemaje?"
One is like "nataka kukukeep busy leo"  the other one is like "hutaregret" they have a disagreement on who to go with me but eventually the other lady *Purity* pulls out of the race and now am remaining with one *Nancy* and she gives me the services she offers with their prices as stated below

1. ONE SHOT ---> 300
2. TWO SHOTS ---> 600
3. WHOLE NIGHT ---> 1500

Just before she finishes giving me the breakdown she notices am holding a camera and a question comes out "Kwani wewe ni wa Jicho Pevu?" I tell her no because if at all it was a Yes then i would have been dead by now.....I cut her short by telling her am on official duty and can't go with her, she agrees to that very quickly and off she goes.....A sigh of relief after 30 hectic minutes. I proceed to B*****f and this time very careful because cameras are their biggest enemy. I enter the club and O.M.G strippers are all over. As i head to the Counter to get a drink and roll my eyes as i spectate i collide with a nude lady, she is profusely sweating and i figure out she was the one on stage when i entered the club. I take it easy and order for my drink and find a place to sit. It's already mid night and the show is bound to be hot, The Disco Joker is busy doing what he does best. Ladies from Kenya,Uganda,Tanzania, Nigeria come on stage showing their nude bodies and yes that's what they call 'WORK'. The club is loaded by people from all walks of life and now the theme of the show is bound to start....S******y the show stopper gets on stage and that's where hell breaks loose, He is said to ........TO BE CONTINUED

PROSTITUTES PAID FOR THEIR LOSS OF SOCIAL STANDING IN SOCIETY

Much will be written about the moral decadence of Mtwapa that its quite, impossible to visit the town without pre-conceived ideas. Teenage youthful school drop-out girl’s young men, medium age single mothers are in trouble, Since their hub of life is centered on prostitution. How? They offer their bodies for sexual intercourse in exchange for money.

Prostitution in Mtwapa is a profession and a source of livelihood to different groups of prostitutes called sex-workers. In particular during the day  its low key while generally at night  its at the  peak. Sometimes at night one may think it’s a formalized social institution in its own right.

Anyway, what is prostitution? According to oxford English dictionary, it’s a practice of prostituting one self with multiple partners for congress, it’s a consequence of social-economic psychological and biological aspects of life.

However, the overwhelming  obsession in Mtwapa to prostitution is facilitated by seven different types of prostitutes.

• bar prostitutes
• bar maid prostitutes
• street light prostitutes
• indoor prostitutes
• super rich prostitutes
• sugar daddy prostitutes
•  sugar mummy  prostitutes

Let us examine one after the other:-

Bar Prostitutes:-these are prostitutes who visit the bar from their respective residence  purposely to get a drink, a meal and some money from a male prostitute in exchange for money

Bar maid prostitutes:- these are some staff working within the bar  but discreetly prostitute themselves as sex workers to supplement their low salaries.

Street light prostitute:- are those who hang outside night spots for example bars  but mainly where they could get  illuminated by light. They normally  hang themselves in designated areas.

Indoor prostitutes:- these operate as sex workers from the comfort of their homes , male clientele would pay them visits for sex

Super rich prostitutes:- are well off prostitutes  who will venture out to have one for the road but at the back of their minds prey on rich male clientele, in most cases they are selective.

Sugar daddy (prostitutes:-these are older men who pay a teenage and youth school  drop outs.

Sugar mummy (prostitutes):-these are older women who are  well off but occasionally visit bars they normally keep gigolo’s who benefit from material remuneration and some money for  up.

Needless to say, all the groups crave for satisfaction one way or the other, sadly though most of the sex-workers are paid for loss of social standing in society. They change men with confusing regularity despite the prevalence of Hiv/Aids diseases

Their commitment to their “evil cancer” in society especially at night has earned them a tag  of “nocturnal predators.” prostitution is in Mtwapa to stay, Prostitutes have literally forfeited all rights to dignity and respect both to themselves and class as well as  within society at large.

Some prostitutes are opposed to the use of contraceptives hence have given men opportunity to plant a seed here and another there without thinking seriously of social consequences’ of sex liberalism.

A sight of a naïve foreign white man or woman engenders competion so, fortune, favours the brave. In their regard however anyone who  radiates warmth, charm and a sense of fun, captivates “mzungu”.....................to be continued....

                      Article by

francis barasa (freelance photo journalist based in Mtwapa)

Cell phone: 0710 102916 or 0736499082

Email: francis_snr@yahoo.com